A Good Stretch

As I sit and write from our office on a very busy and, more notably, noisy corner of downtown Jacmel, Haiti, words like “stretching” and “comfort zone” come to mind as I reflect on both my own life and the lives of those I’ve encountered recently. Finding a place to be quiet, reflective and productive in the midst of the noise, dust and bustle that I often find myself in on this island is a challenge. It’s one of many challenges that at times keeps me feeling stretched to my limits of patience, compassion and understanding. This three week trip to Haiti has (noisy office aside) been an energy boost of sorts. Through catching up with community here I’ve had the chance to reflect back on several recent activities and personal insights worth sharing about. To me they represent different ways that we can be stretched and how difficult and potentially beautiful it can be to move beyond our comfort zones.


About a month ago I went up to the Dominican – Haitian border for an Open Space meeting between Haitian vendors, Dominican business people and community leaders from both countries. The meeting was organized by a committee representing all these groups and was centered on the theme: “Problems and organization of the bi-national, Haitian/Dominican market”. Twice a week a huge outdoor market is created on the Dominican side of the border where many Haitians live and store their goods while others stream across on the given market days. As they cross, Haitians are subject to countless searches and payoffs to customs and military officials. The market is a huge economic base for the entire region, so passions on all sides are obviously strong and the mere topic of the organization of the market can be seen as controversial.

I’ve often heard reflections about Open Space being a method so different from what a person is used to in a meeting that it makes them uncomfortable and even agitated. With a topic as sensitive as this bi-national market, and trying to operate the meeting in two languages, I expected there to be some tension and even resistance, but I never thought Open Space itself would be what brought out those feelings. After I began to explain the method at the start of the meeting, there was a Dominican man who stopped me mid explanation. He was very confused about why he was even at the meeting. In frustration he questioned: “Is this a workshop? Is this a meeting? We’ve alrea

dy started and nobody has even told me what topics we’re going to discuss! How are we supposed to know what we’re going to discuss??”

Though his comments were an obvious disruption, I tried my best to understand where he was coming from. Within Open Space, the participants themselves decide

what the topics will be and what subjects need to be discussed around a larger, general theme. For many people this may be the first time they are asked to personally participate to such a degree. When a designated authority figure is taken out of the picture, the picture no longer seems familiar and can cause some people to become nervous and confused. In this case, the man’s position on the theme of the market became obvious – it was in his own best interest to resist any kind of change. He came to the meeting prepared to argue, but quickly saw that there wasn’t anything specific to dismiss. He was being asked to articulate his resistance by proposing a topic and taking responsibility for it - this was obviously a stretch for him. For this man, being “stretched” and thrown out of his comfort zone where he can normally operate with animosity and lack of consideration caused a negative and frustrated reaction. That said, at the end of the meeting, he was the first to offer his vehicle to transport anyone interested to the next meeting planned. Perhaps this “stretch” was just what he needed.

Feeling stretched or pushed into an unknown situation can make some react with nervousness that results in negative frustration while others open their hearts and minds to the unexpected with love. One reason for this most recent trip to Haiti was to help translate and guide a Transformational Travel trip for a group of US Americans interested in learning from and living alongside the Haitian people. For anyone who grew up privileged in North America, Haiti can be a stretch in terms of physical comforts, not to mention the obvious cultural and language differences. With all those challenges at hand, I’ve been privileged to be a part of several groups now and have watched as they’ve opened their hearts and minds to Haiti and all that it entails in spite of the challenges it may pose to their comfort zone.

On this recent trip I sat and watched as people struggled and joyfully laughed their way through the heat, outdoor latrines, close sleeping quarters and language and cultural barriers in order to live alongside their new families. With this type of stretching, a change in perspective often arises. It’s a desire to grow from the challenges that have been placed before you and see the beauty in them. It was an honor to sit and listen as the group reflected on their experiences at the end of the trip and hear how each had been deeply touched by the relationships they had built in the face of different barriers. They were leaving with a changed perspective because of their openness. They reacted to being stretched with love.

For me the last year and a half in the Dominican Republic have involved a lot of stretching and patience not only in dealing with the different physical differences, but also the cultural challenges that have, at times, pushed my limits. Looking back on these two recent experiences, I realize that the real challenge lies in our reaction to the feeling of being stretched or pulled out of our comfort zone. I realize too that I’m reflecting on these experiences as a privileged North American with my education and access to different countries and cultures. While this may give me the privilege of perspective, it doesn’t necessarily make it easier to always react from a place of peace and love. I may be better fit to react to feeling stretched or analyze a group’s behavior as I watch them be stretched, but my privilege doesn’t guarantee the needed tools to cultivate that deeper sense of peace and take care of oneself in the process. I hold these experiences as examples of what I’ve learned and also where I’m at, realizing the looking glass that can appear with each new experience and, the value of a good stretch.